First and foremost I'd like to say thanks to all of you who have been so supportive and encouraging to me and Jake. We love you, and being fully confident that our relationship and upcoming marriage was brought about by the Lord, we really appreciate all of your prayers.
I'd really like to share with everyone our story, as unorthodox as it might seem in the eyes of the world.
All of us come from such a "try before you buy" kind of culture, where it is considered a good and commendable thing to spend months and months unguardedly pouring your heart into romantic dating relationships that may or may not result in marriage because there is no assurance of marriage from the Lord going into it. I know plenty of couples who have gone down this more culturally acceptable path and God has blessed them with wonderful marriages, and I praise God for that!! Amen!
I have been down this road myself and and in my own experience and in observing the experiences of many of those around me, it seems like more often than not these kinds of relationships have resulted in heartbreak for one of the two parties involved. An outcome of marriage in these kinds of relationships tends to be the exception rather than the norm. For me, either I would wind up getting really hurt, or I would wind up really hurting the other person. Pondering my experience really made me question as to whether our cultural norm for finding a spouse was really the most Christ-honoring way of going about it, and these reflections forced me to re-examine my own heart before the Lord. After all, we're supposed to treat fellow Christians like brothers and sisters; not put ourselves into situations where we can potentially hurt one another.
I wanted out of this destructive pattern. With other people in the past I had brought before the Lord (in asking about the potential provision of a spouse), I never had complete peace from Him, and knew deep down inside that ths answer was "no". But because I was either weak in my faith or emotionally unsatisfied with God's answer (or both), I would second guess what He was telling me. I was not waiting on the Lord, and not being careful to be guardful of my heart or the words coming out of my mouth. I would know deep down inside that something was not from the Lord, but on the surface I would find some kind of excuse to deny this truth to myself because it was what I wanted at the time. In other words, I had been a fool. I wasn't completely surrendering everything over to Him, and as a result I was reaping destruction both on myself and on those around me.
I had learned a lot from my horrible mistakes, was humbled by them, but knew that I could only move forward. I asked myself "why not trust God more in the future?", and got on my face and prayed a prayer that I had prayed for a few years. But now, this prayer was more fervent than I had ever prayed it before. I was done with disobedience and second guessing and the world's "try before you buy" mentality. Instead I wanted to honor my brothers in Christ without hurting any more of them, or getting myself hurt by any of them. I asked the Lord that if I was ever meant to have a husband, that He would reveal this person to me so boldly that I wouldn't be able to second guess it; and also that it could be revealed without having to potentially hurt each other by being in an uncertain dating/courting relationship.
God more than answered these prayers when I met Jake. But before God brought him to me, I had to be completely surrendered to Him.
This entailed giving many things up to Him. I found myself in a "valley" over the summer before I met Jake where I found myself reaping consequences of sin and disobedience from my past and as a result feeling very down about everything. I believe God allowed me to go through this season of time to refine me (1 Peter 1:7) and because He was breaking me to a point where I would entirely surrender everything to Him. He couldn't work in my life until I was completely surrendered to Him. He allowed me to be broken to a point where finally I got on my knees and earnestly cried out to God telling Him that He could have everything, no matter what I had to give up in order to be in His perfect will. And I was obedient. I finally gave Him parts of my life that I had kept from him because I had wanted to do things my way. It was hard and heartbreaking, but in doing so, He blessed me beyond what I could fathom.
It was after this point where God began to lift me up out of this valley and set me on a mountain. It was like the fire in my heart for the Lord Jesus had been completely rekindled after feeling like it was dim. I felt that I was completely free to be used by the Lord however He saw fit because I was confident that I was completely surrendered to Him! There was nothing holding me back now! Anyone who has experienced this knows how refreshing and freeing it feels to finally surrender everything to the Lord and to see Him at work as a result. Praise Him who is mighty to not only save, but also to refine and restore!
I love this passage and it really rang true for my life:
"For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." - Romans 8:38-39 (Read the whole chapter if you have time)
So anyway, I was to this point and excited and surrendered to Him and I was/am full-on ready to serve the Lord, even as a single woman. I think God must have a sense of humor or something, because this was exactly the point where He brought Jacob into my life. Once I had finally let go. I was mindful that I could meet my future husband at any point in time, and doing so was a desire of my heart, but it actually happening was the last thing that I honestly expected. Especially since I had been foolish in the past..."perhaps" I thought to myself "I would have to go so long without being foolish before God could move this way in my life". But I learned a lesson that no matter what we do, God will always work in His timeframe and that sometimes God blesses us and meets those desires of our heart when we are most humble and feel like we least deserve it. But first, we must delight in Him (Psalm 37:4)
Through Jake, God answered these prayers beyond anything I could have ever imagined!! We initially met online and at first, we were just encouragers to one another through Email. He told me that he liked talking to me because I had a heart for the lost and unreached and so did he. Which was cool...I like talking to brothers and sisters who have a heart for the unreached no matter who they are. But the Lord put this nudge on my heart (which I instantly recognized as being from the Lord cause it was identical to other "nudges" I've felt in the past that were clearly the Lord) that he was something special and that I should keep getting to know more about him. I started to pray for him and our friendship, and he did for me too.
Then the opportunity arose for us to talk on the phone for the first time. Jake was in the States one weekend at a Christian conference and since I get free nights and weekends anywhere in the US on my cell, we arranged to talk on the phone. It was from our first phone conversation that I knew with diamond clarity that I would marry him someday (whenever God willed). it was like God dropped a bomb inside of me to get my attention so, like I had prayed, I couldn't doubt. I knew it was not an "if" but a "when". I didn't tell him any of this because I felt that God was asking me to keep it guarded until he proposed (which of course I didn't think would be until many many months later), but I had confident assurance through faith that there would be some point in time (which would be between him and God) that he would ask. I later found out when he asked me to marry him that God revealed it to him too at the same time.
So we were both not just praying but crying out to God. Scripture says to "test everything" (1 Thess 5:21). Even though I knew so clearly that he was my future husband, I still took it before God again and again both in prayer and reading Scripture and was affirmed with nothing but rest and peace in my spirit. We're not married yet, but I still do this, and I still have that confident assurance through faith. I had always heard so many married couples say that they "just knew" when they had met the right person. I always thought it was kind of odd before because I hadn't experienced it (though I fervently hoped I would have this knowing too), but now I completely understood. Pretty amazing, really.
Here's something else that is amazing that we like to tell people. Jake became a born again Believer in the summer of 2004. I remember specifically right around the time feeling extremely burdened to pray for my future spouse and not knowing what to pray and why. I just remember praying. So for me to hear that I was praying for him not knowing it was for him at the time he got saved was pretty awesome to me! Praise the Lord!
So anyway, ever since that phone conversation, we've talked pretty much nonstop. We are so compatible, it's not even funny; just the way our personalities are, and our worldviews; from important stuff like doctrine even down to silly stuff like our favorite ice cream flavors. I've never experienced anything like it before. I could go on and on about that, but I'll spare y'all the details. Even our disagreements have been sanctifying for both of us. God has used our arguments to show each of us not just our sin, but also areas where we need to grow in His grace. I praise Him that we've been able to resolve them in a way which was honoring to God and to each other. I can't speak for him, but for me, when we resolve disagreements I love him even more. God in all His sovereignty really knew what He was doing when he brought us together.
I'd have to say the hardest thing was for me to humble myself and open my hands and accept God bringing Jake to me. He's too good for me, and I don't deserve someone like him. I've been such a moron in the past; I'm a sinner who deserves rags; not a Godly man who is excited to love me like Christ does. Jake always is quick to forgive when I make mistakes, and it often brings me to tears of humility. But God in his abounding mercy and grace blessed me beyond what I could fathom. God really used this all to teach me true humility so that I can more freely accept His undeserved love.
Jake and I haven't known each other nearly as long as most engaged couples nowadays know each other, which may seem to freak a lot of people out. But even in our divorce-happy society, I am not worried about it at all because I am confident that I am exactly where the Lord wants me :-D. What better place is there to be, and where can I have more security than being in the Lord's will? In fact, I am EXCITED! I know that there will be trials and we still have lots to learn about each other (which is an exciting journey in and of itself), but it brings so much joy that God has entrusted me to love and respect him as my husband. We're committed to wholly putting Christ at the center of our marriage.
"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." - Proverbs 3:5-6.
One of our passages that we hold dear is Philippians 4:6-7: "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus."
We're planning a Bermudan wedding for our immediate families on April 24, 2009. We're getting married on top of a cliff overlooking the ocean, and we'll be having our honeymoon on the island as well. Then, we'll have a reception for our Canadian and North Carolinian friends at our place of worship, Turner Road Bible Chapel (date TBD). Once my Canadian permanent residency is approved (possibly in fall of 2009), we'll schedule a reception for our Texan and Oklahoman family/friends.
Anyway, that's the story :). Thanks so much for all of your continual prayers for the both of us. We love you! And may God bless you all!
I'd really like to share with everyone our story, as unorthodox as it might seem in the eyes of the world.
All of us come from such a "try before you buy" kind of culture, where it is considered a good and commendable thing to spend months and months unguardedly pouring your heart into romantic dating relationships that may or may not result in marriage because there is no assurance of marriage from the Lord going into it. I know plenty of couples who have gone down this more culturally acceptable path and God has blessed them with wonderful marriages, and I praise God for that!! Amen!
I have been down this road myself and and in my own experience and in observing the experiences of many of those around me, it seems like more often than not these kinds of relationships have resulted in heartbreak for one of the two parties involved. An outcome of marriage in these kinds of relationships tends to be the exception rather than the norm. For me, either I would wind up getting really hurt, or I would wind up really hurting the other person. Pondering my experience really made me question as to whether our cultural norm for finding a spouse was really the most Christ-honoring way of going about it, and these reflections forced me to re-examine my own heart before the Lord. After all, we're supposed to treat fellow Christians like brothers and sisters; not put ourselves into situations where we can potentially hurt one another.
I wanted out of this destructive pattern. With other people in the past I had brought before the Lord (in asking about the potential provision of a spouse), I never had complete peace from Him, and knew deep down inside that ths answer was "no". But because I was either weak in my faith or emotionally unsatisfied with God's answer (or both), I would second guess what He was telling me. I was not waiting on the Lord, and not being careful to be guardful of my heart or the words coming out of my mouth. I would know deep down inside that something was not from the Lord, but on the surface I would find some kind of excuse to deny this truth to myself because it was what I wanted at the time. In other words, I had been a fool. I wasn't completely surrendering everything over to Him, and as a result I was reaping destruction both on myself and on those around me.
I had learned a lot from my horrible mistakes, was humbled by them, but knew that I could only move forward. I asked myself "why not trust God more in the future?", and got on my face and prayed a prayer that I had prayed for a few years. But now, this prayer was more fervent than I had ever prayed it before. I was done with disobedience and second guessing and the world's "try before you buy" mentality. Instead I wanted to honor my brothers in Christ without hurting any more of them, or getting myself hurt by any of them. I asked the Lord that if I was ever meant to have a husband, that He would reveal this person to me so boldly that I wouldn't be able to second guess it; and also that it could be revealed without having to potentially hurt each other by being in an uncertain dating/courting relationship.
God more than answered these prayers when I met Jake. But before God brought him to me, I had to be completely surrendered to Him.
This entailed giving many things up to Him. I found myself in a "valley" over the summer before I met Jake where I found myself reaping consequences of sin and disobedience from my past and as a result feeling very down about everything. I believe God allowed me to go through this season of time to refine me (1 Peter 1:7) and because He was breaking me to a point where I would entirely surrender everything to Him. He couldn't work in my life until I was completely surrendered to Him. He allowed me to be broken to a point where finally I got on my knees and earnestly cried out to God telling Him that He could have everything, no matter what I had to give up in order to be in His perfect will. And I was obedient. I finally gave Him parts of my life that I had kept from him because I had wanted to do things my way. It was hard and heartbreaking, but in doing so, He blessed me beyond what I could fathom.
It was after this point where God began to lift me up out of this valley and set me on a mountain. It was like the fire in my heart for the Lord Jesus had been completely rekindled after feeling like it was dim. I felt that I was completely free to be used by the Lord however He saw fit because I was confident that I was completely surrendered to Him! There was nothing holding me back now! Anyone who has experienced this knows how refreshing and freeing it feels to finally surrender everything to the Lord and to see Him at work as a result. Praise Him who is mighty to not only save, but also to refine and restore!
I love this passage and it really rang true for my life:
"For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." - Romans 8:38-39 (Read the whole chapter if you have time)
So anyway, I was to this point and excited and surrendered to Him and I was/am full-on ready to serve the Lord, even as a single woman. I think God must have a sense of humor or something, because this was exactly the point where He brought Jacob into my life. Once I had finally let go. I was mindful that I could meet my future husband at any point in time, and doing so was a desire of my heart, but it actually happening was the last thing that I honestly expected. Especially since I had been foolish in the past..."perhaps" I thought to myself "I would have to go so long without being foolish before God could move this way in my life". But I learned a lesson that no matter what we do, God will always work in His timeframe and that sometimes God blesses us and meets those desires of our heart when we are most humble and feel like we least deserve it. But first, we must delight in Him (Psalm 37:4)
Through Jake, God answered these prayers beyond anything I could have ever imagined!! We initially met online and at first, we were just encouragers to one another through Email. He told me that he liked talking to me because I had a heart for the lost and unreached and so did he. Which was cool...I like talking to brothers and sisters who have a heart for the unreached no matter who they are. But the Lord put this nudge on my heart (which I instantly recognized as being from the Lord cause it was identical to other "nudges" I've felt in the past that were clearly the Lord) that he was something special and that I should keep getting to know more about him. I started to pray for him and our friendship, and he did for me too.
Then the opportunity arose for us to talk on the phone for the first time. Jake was in the States one weekend at a Christian conference and since I get free nights and weekends anywhere in the US on my cell, we arranged to talk on the phone. It was from our first phone conversation that I knew with diamond clarity that I would marry him someday (whenever God willed). it was like God dropped a bomb inside of me to get my attention so, like I had prayed, I couldn't doubt. I knew it was not an "if" but a "when". I didn't tell him any of this because I felt that God was asking me to keep it guarded until he proposed (which of course I didn't think would be until many many months later), but I had confident assurance through faith that there would be some point in time (which would be between him and God) that he would ask. I later found out when he asked me to marry him that God revealed it to him too at the same time.
So we were both not just praying but crying out to God. Scripture says to "test everything" (1 Thess 5:21). Even though I knew so clearly that he was my future husband, I still took it before God again and again both in prayer and reading Scripture and was affirmed with nothing but rest and peace in my spirit. We're not married yet, but I still do this, and I still have that confident assurance through faith. I had always heard so many married couples say that they "just knew" when they had met the right person. I always thought it was kind of odd before because I hadn't experienced it (though I fervently hoped I would have this knowing too), but now I completely understood. Pretty amazing, really.
Here's something else that is amazing that we like to tell people. Jake became a born again Believer in the summer of 2004. I remember specifically right around the time feeling extremely burdened to pray for my future spouse and not knowing what to pray and why. I just remember praying. So for me to hear that I was praying for him not knowing it was for him at the time he got saved was pretty awesome to me! Praise the Lord!
So anyway, ever since that phone conversation, we've talked pretty much nonstop. We are so compatible, it's not even funny; just the way our personalities are, and our worldviews; from important stuff like doctrine even down to silly stuff like our favorite ice cream flavors. I've never experienced anything like it before. I could go on and on about that, but I'll spare y'all the details. Even our disagreements have been sanctifying for both of us. God has used our arguments to show each of us not just our sin, but also areas where we need to grow in His grace. I praise Him that we've been able to resolve them in a way which was honoring to God and to each other. I can't speak for him, but for me, when we resolve disagreements I love him even more. God in all His sovereignty really knew what He was doing when he brought us together.
I'd have to say the hardest thing was for me to humble myself and open my hands and accept God bringing Jake to me. He's too good for me, and I don't deserve someone like him. I've been such a moron in the past; I'm a sinner who deserves rags; not a Godly man who is excited to love me like Christ does. Jake always is quick to forgive when I make mistakes, and it often brings me to tears of humility. But God in his abounding mercy and grace blessed me beyond what I could fathom. God really used this all to teach me true humility so that I can more freely accept His undeserved love.
Jake and I haven't known each other nearly as long as most engaged couples nowadays know each other, which may seem to freak a lot of people out. But even in our divorce-happy society, I am not worried about it at all because I am confident that I am exactly where the Lord wants me :-D. What better place is there to be, and where can I have more security than being in the Lord's will? In fact, I am EXCITED! I know that there will be trials and we still have lots to learn about each other (which is an exciting journey in and of itself), but it brings so much joy that God has entrusted me to love and respect him as my husband. We're committed to wholly putting Christ at the center of our marriage.
"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." - Proverbs 3:5-6.
One of our passages that we hold dear is Philippians 4:6-7: "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus."
We're planning a Bermudan wedding for our immediate families on April 24, 2009. We're getting married on top of a cliff overlooking the ocean, and we'll be having our honeymoon on the island as well. Then, we'll have a reception for our Canadian and North Carolinian friends at our place of worship, Turner Road Bible Chapel (date TBD). Once my Canadian permanent residency is approved (possibly in fall of 2009), we'll schedule a reception for our Texan and Oklahoman family/friends.
Anyway, that's the story :). Thanks so much for all of your continual prayers for the both of us. We love you! And may God bless you all!
